Deepen Your Emotional Bond, Experience New Ways to Love, and Make the Partnership Work for Both of You

Besides the family we grew up with, there is no more important and influential relationship in our lives than the one we have with a romantic partner. When things are working, they provide a sense of safety and security in daily life. We feel loved and supported, so we can grow to be our best as individuals. However, when things aren't working in our relationships, it can threaten us to our very core. We can become chronically angry, depressed, and hopeless about life in general. Fulfilling relationships take nurturing and investment.  While there's no "right" way to do them, there are certain ways to connect with your partner that work better than others. I will provide the safety, support, and direction to get you there. 

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What makes relationships tricky is the fact that we bring so much "stuff" into them. Each partner's childhood experiences of self-worth, trust, and emotional regulation shape how they individually respond to the environment. What might be meant as a positive action can be interpreted very differently through the lens of past experiences. Hurt and misunderstanding result from this, then we instinctively act to protect ourselves through lashing out, withdrawing, or some combination of the two. We want connection and love, but paradoxically find ourselves doing the very things that make it less likely.

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Escape the Negative Cycle

If you find yourselves stuck in argument loops, desperately clinging for some way out, I want you to know there is hope. Using an attachment-based, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach, I help couples learn to listen and trust one another, unlocking their own problem-solving abilities so they can enjoy life again. With couples therapy, each partner can experience being more available, responsive, and engaged. I will help you understand where and why you are stuck in your relationship, then support you both on the path forward through deepening connections and voicing your needs in a way your partner can hear. 

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​​Couples experience conflict because they matter to each other; if you didn't care about the other person, then there would be no relationship distress and they would not "get to you" so much. Often, by the time couples arrive to therapy, both people have been suffering for a while - some silently, others loudly. It takes incredible bravery to open up to a stranger and share the pain you've both been feeling. It's even more courageous to risk hoping that things will work out. That's why it's important that you find a couples therapist who will fight for your relationship and work alongside you to heal the damage and repair your bond.​ You can read more about the EFT approach here. 

​Clinical Focus

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I have advanced training in working with couples in which one or both members experience problematic substance use (i.e. addiction). Contrary to popular belief, it is never too early in recovery to begin working on your relationship, and it makes recovery stronger. You can read more about my addiction-centered couples and marriage counseling here. I also have specialized training in the Attachment Injury Resolution Model (AIRM), an evidence-based approach to healing relationships after infidelity and affairs - be they physical, emotional, or digital. This approach allows for accountability and honesty about the pain, but also for understanding on the road to rebuilding trust and safety in the relationship. Finally, I have significant experience working with men in the context of relationship conflicts and concerns. 

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No matter how hopeless and chaotic it feels when you and your partner get stuck in conflicts, there is hope. I can help you slow things down, connect with your feelings, and work towards understanding each other once more. Think of it like a gym for your relationship. In my therapy practice, I've also helped couples struggling with a number of issues, including:

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Codependency

Communication

Divorce

Family Conflict Resolution

Financial Concerns

Health Concerns

Infidelity & Affair Recovery

Life Transitions

Family Blending & Step-Parenting 

Premarital Therapy

Parenting

Role (Re)negotiation

Household Daily Stress

Spiritual / Religious Issues

Substance Use

Trust Issues